Showing Restraint
by cyberimp6
Summary: Ryoko plans a revenge on Ayeka. And now, Ayeka strikes back!
1. Ryoko Loses an Argument

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" are Copyright AIC and Pioneer LDC. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

**Showing Restraint**

"We are going to the finest restaurant in Okayama. Now, I want you both on your best behavior. No insults, no stealing of food, and above all, no destroying anything. Promise me?"

"I promise." Ryoko answered.

"And I promise as well." Ayeka added.

"And Washu, no tampering with the electricity or testing new inventions."

"Okay, I promise." Said Washu.

"And Mihoshi, stick close to the rest of us and don't get lost."

"I promise, Lady Sasami!" giggled Mihoshi.

It was routine for Sasami to win cooking contests, but this latest one had a bonus prize attached to it: dinner for the entire family at the city's most expensive restaurant. Most of the household had been ecstatic at the news, although Tenchi had rubbed his head in a worried manner and Katsuhito had looked thoughtful. But it had been agreed that since it was Sasami's prize, she would be the hostess for the outing. Therefore, Ryoko and Ayeka wouldn't have to quarrel over who was in charge.

The drive in to Okayama was surprisingly enjoyable, with all of the girls chatting excitedly about which foods they would order. Tenchi was anxious that the other restaurant patrons would overhear the conversation and realize the off-world nature of the Masaki family. But they were shown to a separate room, screened off from the main dining area. Sasami took her place at the head of the table, and gave the seating assignments. She took care to have Ayeka and Ryoko on the opposite side of the table from Tenchi, with Katsuhito in between them in case of trouble.

"Itadakimasu!" recited the family together, and started on the miso soup. Katsuhito and Ayeka sipped theirs with no audible noise, but the rest of the party slurped with gusto. Mindful of her promise, Ayeka managed to stay silent when Ryoko dumped a heaping spoon of salt into her soup. For her part, Ryoko forbore from commenting when Ayeka was, as usual, the last to finish.

The next course was tempura, and Sasami was kept busy making sure that everyone received at least one piece. Luckily, Mihoshi was devouring almost as much as Ryoko, so Sasami didn't have to single out the former space pirate.

The saké arrived a few moments later, and while Ryoko was the happiest about it, she was far from the only one. Noboyuki took charge of the bottle, and poured out measures for the adults. When he got to Ayeka, however, the princess covered her cup.

"What's the matter, princess?" Noboyuki asked. "You're not drinking?"

"Since our hostess cannot take saké," Ayeka responded, "it seems unfair for me to do so."

"Your call." Ryoko shrugged.

"You don't have to go without because of me, sister." Sasami said.

"Thank you, Sasami, but I prefer the tea here. And I might find a floating stalk." Privately Ayeka was determined not to let her little sister down, and had decided to stay sober.

Tenchi was abstaining as well, but the remaining members of the family more than made up for the three. Mihoshi matched Ryoko cup for cup, Noboyuki was not far behind, and Katsuhito and Washu were putting in impressive showings. Soon it was a lively dinner even by Masaki family standards.

Oddly enough, it was Washu who finally put her foot in it. "You see, you girls can get along when you put your minds to it." She addressed Ryoko and Ayeka. "You should try working together more often."

"Well," Ayeka responded, "the last time we agreed to cooperate I ended up bound and gagged on a storeroom floor."

"And I think you enjoyed it." Ryoko knew there was no use denying the event.

"Ryoko--" Tenchi tried to interpose.

"I most certainly did not!" Ayeka shot back. Noboyuki was looking far too interested.

"C'mon, princess, it's just us here." Ryoko teased. "You can share your little secrets. Break down the denial."

Ayeka tried a different tack. "Even if I were the kind of person you have mistaken me for, no one would have enjoyed that night. Your rope work was quite sloppy."

"What!" Ryoko was taken aback.

"It took me less than five minutes to escape, after all." Ayeka pointed out.

"And I suppose you think you could have done better?" Ryoko asked crossly.

"Mihoshi could have done better." said Ayeka.

"Ayeka . . ." Now Sasami tried to defuse the situation.

But Mihoshi gave an intoxicated giggle. "Oh, she's got a point. We're trained to use other things to secure prisoners if our handcuffs aren't available."

The idea that she was worse than Mihoshi at ANYTHING was intolerable to Ryoko. "Take it back, Ayeka!" She barked, a vein throbbing in her forehead.

Ayeka looked at Ryoko's face, and Sasami's, and Tenchi's, and knew that the situation was getting out of hand. She tried a face-saving way to back down. "Well, it's to be expected that you would be out of practice after seven hundred years."

". . .practice?" Ryoko's voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. The blood drained from her face. She stared straight ahead for a long moment. Turning away from the others, she sank down through the floor and out of sight.

"Ryoko, wait!" Tenchi stood up, but Ryoko was gone.

"What…I didn't mean…what's going on?" Ayeka was the picture of confusion.

"You couldn't be expected to know, Lady Ayeka." Washu's voice was uncharacteristically grim. "Ryoko was never in practice at securing prisoners. Kagato didn't believe in taking any."

"I see." Katsuhito said quietly.

"I'm afraid Ryoko is going though some unpleasant memories right now." Washu continued. "It would be best to leave her be. She'll come back when she is ready."

Ryoko had phased her way to the Ladies' Room and was sitting crouched in a stall. Damn Ayeka for reminding her, she thought. And everyone was going to know, thanks to that accursed link with Washu. She concentrated, and cut off the link as far as she was able. Now, what was to be done? She had to go back soon -- the longer she waited, the more embarrassing things would get. And she would have to make nice to Ayeka, thanks to her promise to Sasami. But that didn't mean she couldn't get even with Ayeka at some later time. What she needed was a plan, preferably a diabolical plan.

And because she was Ryoko, she thought of one.

Ryoko paused for just a moment outside of the dining room to make sure her hair was reasonably straight. This must be a little like what Ayeka did on Jurai, she mused. If she were lucky, the princess might end up going back there.

"Anyone miss me?" Ryoko made her entrance confidently but not over-loud.

"Oh, Ryoko, I'm so glad you're back!" Sasami exclaimed. "Are you feeling better?"

"Nothing wrong with me in the first place." Ryoko reassured her. "I just needed a quick breather."

The rest of the family chimed in, inviting Ryoko to rejoin them. Even Ayeka said a few words of welcome, although Ryoko noticed there was no mention of her role in Ryoko's absence.

Dinner resumed with remarkable speed. Mihoshi had tried to save some of the teriyaki beef for Ryoko, but had eaten it without thinking while telling another story of her adventures in the Galaxy Poilce. Happily, Tenchi had been more successful in saving a couple of pieces, which caused Ryoko to clap her hands in delight.

Unnoticed by anyone else, Washu looked thoughtful. She had a suspicion that, if the link had been fully open, there was less good cheer than appeared. But nothing unpleasant happened during the rest of the meal. Ryoko seemed as lively and cheerful as she had been at the beginning. Still, even after the family had recited "Gochisôsama deshita" and filed out of the restaurant, Washu had an unsettled feeling.


	2. The Plan Revealed

Washu was still suspicious the next morning. But immediately after waking up, her main priority became to prepare and consume an extra-strength hangover remedy. She bustled about the lab collecting the ingredients and putting them into the distillation unit, pausing every so often to put a hand to her throbbing temples. She had just sealed the unit and was ready to press "activate" when a voice sounded behind her.

"Good Morning, Washu!" Mihoshi called cheerily. She showed no effects of the previous evening's alcohol intake.

"Ahh!" Washu let out a startled cry at the sound of her least favorite visitor. Her finger went awry and pressed a different control. "Shimatta! Have to shut it down!"

"Shut it down? Okay!" Mihoshi reacted instantly, for once. She snatched a plug out of its outlet.

"No!" Washu yelled. "That's the lead to the regulator!" The sound of out-of-control machinery rapidly grew louder. "Get down!"

Washu threw herself to the floor and wrapped her arms around her head. The distillation unit blew apart with a thundering boom and a cloud of smoke. On top of that, the automatic fire suppression system activated and sprayed the area with carbon dioxide.

Washu slowly sat up, coughing and nursing an even worse headache. Scorch marks were visible over her clothes and most of the immediate area. Over against one wall was Mihoshi, similarly scorched and sporting some cuts and bruises from having failed to duck low enough. "Owie…" whined the blonde Galaxy Police detective.

Washu starting looking for the first aid kit, pondering whether an alcohol swab or hydrogen peroxide would sting more when applied to Mihoshi.

All attempts to keep Mihoshi out of her lab having failed, Washu decided to focus on limiting the damage. At first she set up a dummy control panel for Mihoshi to stumble onto. Unfortunately, Mihoshi's panicked attempts to fix the non-functional controls that she believed she had broken caused the board to throw out numerous sparks. That set fire to one of Washu's more delicate experiments. This in turn led to another episode with the fire suppression system.

The gloves came off. Washu retaliated by installing a version of the teleporter trap on Tenchi's room that had caught Ryoko and later Ayeka. For two enjoyable days Washu had chuckled as Mihoshi found herself dunked in the lake time and again. But then Sasami guessed the state of affairs and asked Washu to stop making Mihoshi track water into the house. It was very hard to refuse the blue-haired princess anything, so Washu re-directed the teleporter to drop Mihoshi onto a mossy bank up in the hills, where it took Mihoshi some time to get back to the house.

For a few days an extraordinary peace settled over the Masaki household. Washu dove into her experiments, scarcely coming out of her lab except for dinner. Mihoshi discovered she enjoyed an occasional stroll through the woods, and there was less tripping inside the house although there was more startled wildlife outside. Ryoko would also disappear for hours at a time, and when Ayeka announced to anyone who would listen that Ryoko was shirking her chores, Tenchi and Sasami cajoled her to let sleeping ex-space-pirates lie. The link between Washu and Ryoko remained virtually closed, but Washu paid it no attention.

The first sign of the approaching tempest came four days later. Sasami was sitting in her room, balancing the books and looking worried over the size of the grocery bills as usual. As she was setting aside money for carrot seeds, there was a knock at the door. "Sasami?" came Ryoko's voice.

"Come in, big sister Ryoko!" Called Sasami.

Ryoko phased through the door, knowing that Ayeka preferred her to open and close the door in the conventional way. "Oh, good, I wanted to talk to you about the bills. It so happens I can help out a little this month." She held out wad of thousand-yen notes.

"Wow, thanks, Ryoko!" Sasami gave a sunbeam of a smile. Then it faded noticeably. "Uh . . . Ryoko . . . you didn't do anything bad to get this money, did you?"

"Why, Sasami, I'm shocked!" Ryoko gave her best wide-eyed-and-innocent expression. "If you must know, I happen to have some artistic talent. I managed to sell a few pictures."

"That's great!" Sasami was back to full cheerfulness. "This will really come in handy!"

"Always happy to help." Said Ryoko. She teleported out of the room. A few moments later, Sasami heard "A Pirate's Life For Me" being hummed from somewhere on the roof.

The following Monday, Washu and Ayeka were on an errand to pick up supplies in town. Although Mihoshi, as the oldest-looking girl, had managed to obtain a drivers' license the year before, several accidents had convinced the family that bicycles were better for most uses. Safer, that is, although somewhat more tiring. Washu was puffing by the time they arrived, although Ayeka showed only a light sheen of perspiration.

"Ryoko may call you a pampered princess, but you're in remarkably good shape." Washu complimented.

Ayeka smiled. "Fighting with Ryoko is an excellent work-out."

Washu grimaced. "I don't suppose you could find a less violent way of getting your exercise?"

"I will make you a bargain." Ayeka said. "I will back down more often if you can persuade Ryoko not to take advantage of it."

"No deal." Washu decided to change the subject. "You seem to be well known here. You're getting quite a few stares." As they rounded a corner, a man stopped almost in mid-stride and followed them with his eyes.

"That is odd." Ayeka had deliberately dressed plainly, and put her two long locks of hair into a covering. "I usually don't make a noticeable impression." Just then a wolf-whistle echoed from across the street. "And that has never happened before." The princess frowned.

"And it seems to be only the men noticing you." Washu observed. Just then, a middle-aged woman across the street looked at them, then turned away with an unmistakable expression of distaste. "I'm getting a bad feeling about this."

The two parked their bicycles and went into the first store. Ayeka stocked up on generous quantities of laundry detergent, while Washu gathered an assortment of various bottles. "It's surprising what you can do with common Earth household chemicals." She commented.

As they were leaving the store with their purchases, a mousy-looking man ran up to Ayeka. "It IS you!" He exclaimed. Ayeka could not recognize the man at all. He held out an opened magazine. "Could you please autograph this?" He asked.

Puzzled, Ayeka took the magazine -- and her eyes widened in shock. On the glossy pages were pictures of, unmistakably, herself. Some of them showed her tied with silk ribbons. Many showed her wrapped in various ways with rope. None showed her with any clothing. The Ayeka in the pictures looked quite happy. The Ayeka holding the pictures looked absolutely horrified.

"Where did you get this . . . this . . ." Ayeka was having difficulty choosing between pounding the stranger unconscious, or fainting herself.

"At the newsstand two blocks down." The man answered. "But they're already sold out."

Fainting. Definitely fainting. Ayeka crumpled to the pavement.

"Miss?" asked the main uncertainly.

Washu knelt by the fallen princess. "Trust me on this, whoever you are. You don't want to be here when she regains consciousness." There was a glint in her eye that suggested she would willingly join in whatever Ayeka might do.

The man hesitated just a moment, then recovered his magazine from the ground, and took off.

"Ayeka?" Washu shook her companion gently.

"Washu?" Ayeka's eyes fluttered open. "Please tell me I was having a bad dream."

"Sorry, I can't do that." Washu stood up. "We really did see those pictures of you. Now the question is, where did they come from?"

"Ryoko! Ryoko is behind this, I'm sure of it!" Ayeka came back to her feet, suddenly full of energy.

"Well, I admit that she is the most likely suspect." Washu mused. "But she'll simply deny it if you accuse her. You haven't anything to back it up."

"But then what can I do?" Ayeka asked.

"Obviously, the first step is to find a shop that isn't sold out, and buy one of the magazines."

"Buy one of those . . ." Ayeka nearly choked.

Washu raised a lecturing finger into the air. "We're studying a phenomenon. We need to collect samples!"


	3. Homeward Bound

A few minutes later, the two were outside the largest "adult" bookstore in town. Ayeka paused while tying a scarf around her head. "Please, Washu," she implored once more, "couldn't you go in and buy the magazines?"

"For the last time, Ayeka, they won't let twelve-year-olds into the store." Washu said testily. "And there are too many people on the street to change to my adult form. Not that I'd want to anyway." she added.

The next few minutes were an experience that no other princess of Jurai was likely to have. Ayeka did not know exactly which magazine she was looking for, and could not bring herself to ask anyone in the store. There was no choice but to leaf through each one until she found the pictures. This brought more bad news: she was in more than one magazine. Once she had the number of magazines that Washu had dictated, Ayeka waited until the counter was clear of other customers, and until her fingers were no longer twitching. Both of these took some time.

Checking that there were no passersby, Ayeka exited the store as rapidly as she could without breaking into a run. She gave a nod of acknowledgement to Washu when the genius scientist asked her if she had been successful, but did not say anything until the two had found a secluded alley to examine the magazines.

"Hmmm." Washu might have been appraising a new species of beetle rather than pictures of Ayeka. "Not printed from film. That means it's a digital image, which could have been made here on Earth, or the original picture could have been converted to a format usable on this planet. Is there any chance this could have come from an actual snapshot of you? Someone sneaking a camera into your Juraian Bridegroom Training lessons?"

"Lady Washu!" Ayeka hissed so as not to attract anyone else. "I keep telling you, that is a vicious rumor--"

"Then someday you'll have to tell me about the actual erotic practices on Jurai . . . and don't tell me there's nothing special." Washu gave Ayeka a penetrating look. The princess sweatdropped. "But to get back to my original question, could these possibly be actual pictures of you?"

Ayeka gave the pictures a careful look. "No. Take my word for it."

"And yet there's no trace of a joining line." Washu had brought out a scanner with a magnifying lens. "I don't think these were made by putting your head on someone else's body. I need to go over these in the lab."

By the time the two cyclists came in view of the house, Ayeka was breathing heavily. But Washu couldn't be sure if it was due to the speed that the princess was traveling at, or wrath against her arch-rival. Whatever the reason, she still had plenty of breath left.

"Ryoko!" Ayeka yelled in a very un-royal manner. "Come out, Ryoko! I know you can hear me!"

"Everyone not struck deaf can hear you," commented Washu.

Ryoko opened the front door, and floated lazily out. "What's got you steamed this time, princess?" she inquired. "It can't be the chores. I've already done mine for the day."

"Aha!" Ayeka fired back. "And when have you ever before done chores ahead of time? You knew what was coming!"

Ryoko gave a start, but kept her face as blank as she could. "And just what was coming?" She asked.

"These!" The princess took the offending magazines out, and began to open the first.

"What's wrong, Ayeka?" Sasami appeared on the front porch, dressed in her usual smock with a large picture of a carrot on the front.

"Nothing!" Ayeka hastily held the magazines behind her back. "Ryoko and I are just having an argument over . . . over . . ."

"Over who's had more practice." Ryoko snickered.

"Practice at what?" Sasami asked.

Ryoko pointedly looked away. "Grown-up things." Ayeka had to say.

"Oh." Sasami turned to the more important aspect. "Are you two going to blow up the house again?"

"We never blew up the house!" Ayeka and Ryoko exclaimed together.

"Just damaged a few parts . . ." Ayeka amended.

"Throwing Ayeka through the roof doesn't count as 'blowing up'." stated Ryoko.

"What's going on?" Tenchi had arrived on the scene. In spite of Ryoko and Ayeka's protests, he clearly _was_ worried about the house being demolished; he had raced to the front porch as fast as he could.

"Tenchi, Ryoko has done something unpardonable." Ayeka announced.

"Me?" Ryoko looked indignant. "Ayeka's trying to blame me for her own vices! Sasami, why don't you go back into the kitchen. I think your big sister is about to make a fool of herself." She shooed the little princess back inside the house.

"That monster-woman has violated my privacy, and brought shame upon the entire house, and further--" Ayeka was building up steam rapidly when Ryoko suddenly teleported behind her. The ex-space pirate snatched the magazines and held them up to Tenchi.

"Oooh, look what Ayeka brought home." Ryoko said. "I guess our princess isn't as pure as she pretends."

Ayeka gave a startled cry, and moved to block Tenchi's view. Too late. Tenchi's eyes went wide open, and his hands flew up to cover his nose, which had started leaking red. Ayeka looked at him, then at Ryoko laughing, and did the only ladylike thing remaining: she fainted to the patio deck.

"Ayeka?" Tenchi called out. He would have rushed over, but he didn't want to get blood on the princess.

"Don't let her fool you with that 'delicate' act, Tenchi!" Ryoko scolded. "Ayeka is tough as leather. And I should know; I've been trying to beat her unconscious for months and months . . ."

"And I really wish you—" Tenchi began.

"Oh, aren't you so sweet to be concerned?" Ryoko sidled up to Tenchi. "But it should be me taking care of you. Just look at your poor nose. Why don't we go inside and you can lie down. In fact, we can lie down together—hey!" Washu had chosen that moment to snatch the magazines in turn.

"Fun's fun, but I need my specimens back now!" announced the pint-sized genius.

"Give those back!" Ryoko snarled. "Tenchi and I weren't through with them yet!"

"Um, yes we were." Tenchi interposed, having managed to get his nose to stop bleeding.

"Aww, Tenchi, I haven't shown you the ones where. . ." Ryoko stopped herself.

"I'll be in my lab." Washu said, turning to go. "If anyone wants me – tough luck." This last was clearly aimed at Ryoko.

"Oh, well," Ryoko turned her attention from the departing Washu to the still unconscious Ayeka. "Want me to wake her up?"

"Why don't I take care of it." said Tenchi.

The sun had gone down, and twilight was fading rapidly. The sound of leather shoes came up the path. "Dad must be home." Tenchi said.

"Please don't let Noboyuki have seen any of the pictures." Ayeka prayed over and over.

The front door slid open, and Noboyuki stepped inside. In each of his nostrils was a small wad of tissue, stained red. His briefcase bulged noticeably larger than usual.

"What's going on, Dad?" Tenchi asked.

"Oh, I hit my nose on the door leaving the office." Noboyuki said unconvincingly. "Um . . . why is Miss Ayeka on the floor?"

"Honestly," Ryoko commented, "How many times in one day can that girl faint?"

"Hello, father Noboyuki." Sasami leaned her head into the doorway. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. My, it looks like you've brought a lot of work home."

"Work. . .yes!" Noboyuki nodded. "I'll have to get on it right after dinner." Tenchi suspected that his father would work primarily on hiding what he had brought home. Sasami also looked thoughtful.


	4. Departure and Arrival

The sun had gone down, and twilight was fading rapidly. The sound of leather shoes came up the path. "Dad must be home." Tenchi said.

"Please don't let Noboyuki have seen any of the pictures." Ayeka prayed over and over.

The front door slid open, and Noboyuki stepped inside. In each of his nostrils was a small wad of tissue, stained red. His briefcase bulged noticeably larger than usual.

"What's going on, Dad?" Tenchi asked.

"Oh, I hit my nose on the door leaving the office." Noboyuki said unconvincingly. "Um . . . why is Miss Ayeka on the floor?"

"Honestly," Ryoko commented, "How many times in one day can that girl faint?"

"Hello, father Noboyuki." Sasami leaned her head into the doorway. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes. My, it looks like you've brought a lot of work home."

"Work. . .yes!" Noboyuki nodded. "I'll have to get on it right after dinner." Tenchi suspected that his father would work primarily on hiding what he had brought home. Sasami also looked thoughtful.

Katsuhito was waiting by the door when Washu emerged from her lab at last. If a weatherman had made a forecast guided by Washu's expression, it would have been 'sunny'. The pint-sized genius indicated her holographic console. "It seems Ryoko got into my secure area by following Mihoshi in. Ryoko could dodge the teleporter since she didn't need to walk on the floor. From there, she used the Virtual Imaging equipment along with the biometric scans I made of Ayeka to produce the pictures. So, they look exactly like Ayeka would." Washu chuckled. "Gotta give it to her, my daughter is pretty good at what she decides to do."

"Ryoko is certainly clever." Katsuhito acknowledged. "But, Lady Washu, I hope you will be in a more serious mood when you apologize to my sister."

"Apologize?" Washu repeated blankly.

"Didn't you promise Lady Ayeka that all of her medical data would be kept confidential?" Asked Katsuhito.

"Oh." The forecast changed to 'gloomy'. "I did, didn't I. . ."

"And it seems only fair to inform Tenchi as well." Katsuhito added. "I could not blame my grandson if he declined to participate in any further experiments."

The forecast was now 'thunderstorms'. "I'll KILL her!" Washu darted out of the room.

Katsuhito calmly collected the pictures and Washu's notes. Before putting them away, he gave them one last appraising look. For the first time, he felt a twinge of regret that he had not married Ayeka after all.

Not too surprisingly, Ryoko had made herself scarce. Instead, Washu found a very perplexed Mihoshi and an exasperated Ayeka.

"But if you're not in the pictures, then who is?" asked Mihoshi. Somehow, Washu couldn't bring herself to interrupt right away.

"I don't know who!" Ayeka tried to explain. "Maybe Ryoko disguised herself to look like me."

"Nope, that can't be it." Mihoshi shook her head. "Ryoko's toes aren't as long as yours."

"Uhh. . . just how closely did you look at those pictures, Mihoshi?" Queried Ayeka. "And come to think of it, how did you get them? Aren't the magazines I bought still with Washu?"

"Well, Father Noboyuki shared his copies." Mihoshi studied her fingers intently. "He can be very helpful if you ask him nicely."

"I don't suppose he offered you some saké while you were studying the pictures?" Washu had found the right time to join the conversation.

"Oh, yes, he was worried I might be thirsty." Mihoshi replied. "He was going to put on some background music to help me concentrate, too, but he got strangely flustered when Sasami came by. Say, if you still have your copies, I could continue my investigation."

"No need." Mentally gritting her teeth, Washu told the two what she had found out about Ryoko's invasion of her lab. Ayeka looked grimly satisfied on hearing that her suspicions of her arch-rival were correct.

Mihoshi nodded as well. "I should have known that they were fake pictures. Ryoko's always telling me that Ayeka is underdeveloped." There were several buzzing noises as the miniature logs phased into existence around the head of the First Princess of Jurai, whose eyes had narrowed alarmingly. "Umm. . .did I say something?"

A little while later, after Washu had calmed her down, Ayeka was deep in unhappy thoughts. She couldn't have Ryoko arrested; having her tried in an Earth court would expose the secrets of the Masaki household, and there were no Juraian laws that had been broken. She couldn't have the magazines confiscated and burned; they were all over Japan by now. She couldn't take the meager satisfaction of giving Ryoko a beating; she'd never managed more than a draw in countless times of trying, and the collateral damage was sure to make Tenchi unhappy. No, this time Ryoko had won.

She looked up to see Tenchi entering the room. Ordinarily this would have raised her spirits, but now the thought came that this might be the last time she would see him. But better to do this quickly than drag things out.

"Lord Tenchi . . ." Ayeka stood up as if her clothes weighed like spun lead. "I have to leave Earth and go back to Jurai."

"But why, Ayeka?" asked Tenchi. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I'm in disgrace here." Ayeka replied. "I can't be seen anywhere."

"Just wait a week or two." urged Tenchi. "My dad tells me lots of celebrities get faked pictures of themselves. After a few days, nobody pays any attention." He put his arm around her, and looked earnestly into her eyes. "Please don't go, Ayeka. I'd miss you very much. So would Sasami. And everyone else. I think even Ryoko."

And suddenly Ayeka realized that Tenchi was holding her, and telling her that he cared about her. Vaguely she realized she was supposed to say something in reply. But it was very difficult with a chorus of angels singing in her brain.

It didn't last long, however. "Ayeka!" thundered Ryoko as she phased in through the ceiling. "Take your hands off of Tenchi right now!"

Ayeka gave a guilty start out of instinct, forgetting even as Ryoko had, whose arm was around whom.

But Tenchi did not let go. "Ryoko, you were eavesdropping on us, weren't you?"

Ryoko was not about to back down. "Well, someone has to protect you from this . . . strumpet! You've seen the pictures; you know what she's capable of!"

"Those were your pictures, Ryoko. Now, I want to talk to Ayeka alone."

"Alone?" Ryoko looked as if Tenchi had suggested holding a Black Mass. "With her? I . . . I . . .absolutely forbid it! Nothing is making me leave here!"

"Ryoko!" Sasami came charging into the room. This time she was not in her usual cheery mood, but rather as angry as anyone could remember seeing her. Ryo-Ohki was perched on top of Sasami's head, but the cabbit looked like she was hanging on for dear life. Sasami yelled, "I saw those awful pictures you made of my sister!"

Only Tenchi's arm saved Ayeka from falling to the floor yet again. "You saw . . ." Ayeka gasped.

Ryoko smirked at Ayeka's embarrassment. "So you've been doing some sneaking around, eh?" She said to Sasami.

"Don't smile at me like that!" snapped Sasami. Her eyes would have been blazing, but the fact that they were pink spoiled the effect. "I told Mommy what a rotten trick you played!"

"You WHAT?" Ayeka nearly screamed. Ryoko burst out laughing.

"Well, it was only right." Sasami said in a surprised tone. "What if she'd heard about it from somewhere else?"

"But -- but," Ayeka stammered, "she'll -- come HERE!"

"Ha--" Ryoko's laugh cut off in mid-guffaw as fact after fact sprang out of her memory. Sasami's mother was Misaki. Queen Misaki. The commander of the Juraian Imperial Bodyguard. Who liked to stretch Ryoko's face like rubber. And then slam her into the nearest wall.

With this review complete, the former space pirate knew immediately what had to be done, and just as quickly she sprang into action.

Ryo-Ohki gave a startled "Myaa!" as she found herself snatched off of Sasami's head. Ryoko called out "See you later -- much later!" and then she and the cabbit were out the door.

The doorbell rang late in the morning of the following day. Tenchi, Mihoshi, and even Washu nervously poked their heads into the entrance, anticipating a major episode. Sasami, however, skipped happily up to the door and swung it open. But it was not Misaki who stood just outside.

"Mother Funaho! Welcome!" said Sasami.

"Thank you, Sasami." The First Queen of Jurai seemed to float through the doorway. "Greetings, Tenchi, Lady Washu, Detective Mihoshi. I take it Ayeka is in hiding?"

"Err…yes." Washu knew there was little point in trying to conceal the state of affairs from Funaho.

"Sasami, would you please find your sister and tell her she has nothing to fear?" Funaho requested. "Neither Lady Misaki nor Lady Seto are here."

"Oh--Mommy didn't come?" Sasami's voice showed disappointment. The three others looked visibly relieved.

Funaho gave one of her quiet smiles. "No, a matter has called Lady Misaki's attention elsewhere. Now then, if I were Ayeka, I would hide in Washu's lab. The shrine is small, and it doesn't have an emergency exit."

"You're clever, Mother Funaho!" Sasami couldn't help herself, even when giving away Ayeka's secrets. "I'll go get her, but it may take a little while. She's way back in one of the jungle environment units." The little princess scampered off through the closet door.

"Would you like me to make some tea?" Tenchi asked, knowing Funaho's taste for the Earth drink of her past.

"That would be most welcome." Funaho replied, and Tenchi went into the kitchen to put the kettle on the stove.

"I noticed that you mentioned Lady Seto," Washu remarked, seating herself on a couch. "May I ask why she might be coming here?"

"A perceptive question." Funaho also sat down, seeming quite at ease while keeping a queenly posture. "I take it Ayeka hasn't told you?"

"Told us what?" Mihoshi asked.

"I thought not, but Lady Seto wanted me to find out for certain." Funaho looked at Washu directly. "What do you know about Juraian attitudes towards matters of sex?" She asked the question as casually as if she were discussing needlepoint. Tenchi, who was coming back from the kitchen, stopped as if he'd run into a lamppost.

"Not as much as I'd like to." Washu complained. "I would have thought that a civilization that advanced would have enlightened views, but I haven't been able to get Ayeka to say two words about it."

"Well, in my opinion, Juraian views are quite advanced. We do not treat sex itself as a taboo, but there is a strong disapproval about discussing it with other cultures. It is often perceived as bragging." Funaho explained.

"Bragging?" Washu repeated.

"Erotic techniques are treated on Jurai much like martial arts are treated on this planet." Continued Funaho. "A skill, a discipline, and for some, a competitive sport."

"Oh . . . and Ayeka is embarrassed about it because she wasn't very good?" Mihoshi piped up.

"Just the opposite. Ayeka was . . . well, the best Earth equivalent would be varsity team captain."

"_What?_" Tenchi, Mihoshi, and Washu exclaimed simultaneously.

"Oh, yes," Funaho continued, "she was quite proud of it. Too proud, actually. You know how competitive Ayeka can be."

Three heads nodded as one.

"Eventually, Lady Seto took the matter in hand. She gave Ayeka a rather firm lecture on the Juraian traditions on talking about the subject with others. Lady Seto can be somewhat intimidating. . ."

Again, three heads nodded together.

"...and it would seem that Ayeka has followed her advice."

"Followed too well if you ask me." Washu commented. "Possibly you could help me with my survey of sex practices, Lady Funaho?"

"I would be happy to help, Professor Washu." Funaho paused, and glanced around the room. "But perhaps anyone younger than half a millennium should be excused?"

Tenchi gratefully took advantage of the opportunity to escape. He was convinced there were some things he was better off not knowing about his great-grandmother.

At about the same time, at a Galaxy Police outpost considered by its staff to be the furthest point from civilization, the duty officer picked up some unusual transmissions. Adjusting his equipment to its most sensitive, he decided the signals came from two ships, one in pursuit of the other. The ships were too distant for him to identify, which meant the transmissions must be unusually loud. He switched on the speaker unit to see if he could recognize any voices.

"--dare you humiliate my little Ayeka! Even if Tsunami herself forgives you, I will not! Never!"

"Faster, Ryo-Ohki, FASTER!"

T h e E n d

Author's afterward: This story was partially inspired by the "AyekaNoPorn" image, a copy of which can be found at the "Ryoko's Heaven" website:

http/ryoko169. anyone can figure out why Achika is in the image, I'd love to know.) Comments, suggestions, and pointing out of errors are welcomed.


	5. Interview with the Devil Princess

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" are Copyright AIC, Pioneer LDC, and Funimation. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

Foreword: I have included Japanese phrases in italics, with the translation in parentheses immediately after. (For me, footnotes break up the flow of dialogue.) This story supposedly takes place before the changes of OVA Season III. (Many of which I disapprove of.)

**Showing Restraint, Part II**

No matter how long she lived, and Princess Seto had lived a very long time, there were things that never grew old for her. Some were long and complicated, like matchmaking. Some were short, straightforward, and spectacular, like directing the crushing defeat of space pirates. And some were quiet but intense, like grilling others for information. The fact that her current subject was her first-born granddaughter made it all the more enjoyable.

"Is the tea to your liking, little Ayeka?" Seto asked as soon as the violet-haired princess had begun to sip at her cup.

Ayeka lowered her tea to respond as quickly as she could without risking a spill. "It is excellent, thank you, Grandmother."

Having unsettled her subject, Seto approached the main item. "Lady Funaho tells me that she believes you had nothing to do with the pictures." she remarked. "I confess that I wondered whether you might be trying to impress Prince Tenchi by a roundabout method."

"Lord Tenchi is a high-minded young man," Ayeka responded, "he would not be influenced by anything so crude."

"As you say," Seto focused her gaze directly at Ayeka, "but that leaves me confused about one thing."

"What is that, Grandmother?" Ayeka tried not to flinch, with only partial success.

"If Ryoko made those pictures without your approval, why are you letting her go unpunished?"

"I had thought that Mother would . . . deal with the matter." Ayeka chose her words carefully. "It would have been helpful if things could have been settled away from the house. After all, I am something of a guest there, and more, Lord Tenchi is unhappy when his father's house is damaged." She paused to take another sip of tea. "It is a pity that Mother is so willing to forgive anyone who calls her 'pretty young lady'."

Seto was secretly pleased. Ayeka had carefully avoided pointing out that Misaki was Seto's daughter, since both princesses knew it perfectly well. Little Ayeka was showing promise--but she had left an opening. "That is indeed a foible that I hope you will avoid, Ayeka. It shows all the more reason for not depending on others to wage your battles. You will find that it is not only more forthright to strike the blows yourself, but more enjoyable as well. I have done some study of Colonized Planet 0315 since Lady Funaho arrived on Jurai. Your," Seto slightly emphasized the word, "_temporary_ home has an interesting history. I recommend to you the leader who counseled magnanimity in victory, but in war, resolution."

"It is an excellent philosophy, but the struggle between Ryoko and myself isn't one that can be resolved by force," Ayeka countered.

"Then you must find a way to pay her back in kind," Seto drew herself up to a formal posture. "Princess Ayeka, you carry the honor of both House Masaki and House Kamiki. Ryoko's offence cannot be allowed to go unanswered."

Ayeka mentally made a note to ask Washu to develop an anti-sweatdrop formula. "But, Grandmother, I do not see how it can be done. Creating pictures of Ryoko wouldn't do anything. That monster-woman is shameless. There is nothing that could embarrass her as much as she embarrassed . . ." Ayeka stopped with a thoughtful look.

"You have had an idea," Seto stated it as a fact.

". . . Yes," Ayeka admitted reluctantly.

"_Gambare, Ayeka-kohai_ (Give it your all, pupil Ayeka)." Seto said, and sipped her tea.

Ayeka's return from her "pleasant chat" aboard the Mikagami, as Seto had called it, was as surreptitious as the violet-haired princess could make it. For one thing, she enjoyed the quieter life on Earth, and hoped to keep the intrusions of Juraian politics to a minimum. Even more, she hoped that Tenchi would not find out about her grandmother until after they were married.

The following day, Ayeka was ready to proceed with stage one. She stood outside the door into Washu's lab, made sure the sleeves of her kimono were straight, and knocked.

"It's open!" came Washu's voice. Ayeka pushed on the door, and emerged into the lab.

"Hello, little Washu," the princess began, "are you busy right now?"

"You want something from me, don't you?" Washu looked over her shoulder with a sly grin.

"Well, I do have a . . . proposal of sorts." Ayeka replied. "Along the lines of those pictures that Ryoko made up of me."

"My laboratory is not here for petty acts of revenge, Ayeka." Washu cut in sternly.

"Quite right, Lady--I mean little Washu." Ayeka said quietly. "Though Ryoko obviously does not agree. And it seems a shame that she can get into your confidential files with impunity." Washu looked thoughtful. "But a genius such as yourself is above spite. It was just that the pictures made me think of an experiment that I would need your help with."

"Experiment?" Washu turned and gave Ayeka her full attention.

It was not a typical morning at the Masaki house, Sasami realized as soon as she came downstairs. The unmistakable signs of a saké and karaoke party the night before were littered over the main room. There had been some attempt at straightening, for the karaoke machine and disks had been put away, and only Mihoshi was sleeping on couch. Usually, Ayeka and Ryoko as well were to be found slumbering downstairs, since each would try to out-drink and out-sing the other until they both collapsed. Sasami remembered that Nobuyuki had been home last night to join in the merry-making, which might have led to the party ending early out of respect for his work schedule. Certainly he had already left earlier in the morning for the commute to his architect's office, since his shoes were absent from the entryway.

The young princess shook her head over the empty cups and party streamers still to be cleaned up, and wrinkled her nose at the distinctive odor of saké. What did the older girls find so appealing about it? And all of them moaned and looked sick the next day, which made it hard to get them to help in cleaning up. Except Mihoshi, who seemed to be somehow immune. However, the blonde Galaxy Policewoman tended to create more mess than she cleaned when pressed into work. Sasami made a mental note to let her sleep for as long as possible.

Upstairs, a certain cyan-haired ex-space-pirate slowly returned to consciousness. The dull throbbing in her head brought back some memories of the carousing the night before. But not, she realized, all of them. There was a blank period. She must have consumed even more than her usual amount of saké. She began to turn over, and then became aware that the surface she was on was not one she had woken up on before. She was on a bed, not merely a futon on a floor. Could it be -- Tenchi's bed? Slowly, she reached out a hand, hoping intently to encounter the chest of her object of desire. There was only empty space . . . but even more empty space than there should have been. There was a depression in the mattress alongside of her, and it was still faintly warm. Yes! Someone else had indeed been in the bed during the night. Maybe Tenchi was still in the room. With an effort, Ryoko slowly opened her eyes.

The Masaki house was very large by Japanese standards, but Ryoko's scream of horror reached to its furthest corner. Sasami dropped her ladle and dashed out of the kitchen. Ayeka came upright, and grabbed for her dressing gown. Even Mihoshi was startled awake, and sprinted from the couch to the upstairs, tripping only twice. But it was Tenchi who first threw open the door.

"Ryoko?" he stared transfixed. Ryoko was so distraught she had forgotten she could summon clothes, and had wrapped the bed-sheet around her to cover herself. She stared at him, equally speechless.

Sasami arrived next. "What . . ." and then she too was at a loss for words.

Ayeka came to a halt next to her sister. "Oh, my . . ." she managed.

Lastly, Mihoshi stuck her head in the doorway. She at least retained the power of speech. "Gee, Ryoko -- what are you doing in Nobuyuki's room?"

Author's afterward: usually I don't start posting until I have the story entirely plotted and half-written, so as not to keep readers in suspense for months. But I just had to get this idea rolling. We'll just have to see how long it takes, and where it goes.


	6. Bath and Battle

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" are Copyright AIC, Pioneer LDC, and Funimation. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

"Sasami," Ayeka spoke up after a few moments, "I think you should go back downstairs."

"But what's going on here?" Sasami asked.

"That's what I asked." pointed out Mihoshi.

Tenchi, Ryoko, and Ayeka all stayed silent for a few moments, turning various shades of red.

"Ohh . . . " Sasami realized. "You mean sister Ryoko and father Nobuyuki slept together?"

"But," Mihoshi inquired, "what was wrong with sleeping in your usual place, Ryoko?" There was a triple face-fault from Tenchi, Ayeka and Ryoko. Ryoko took the least damage, since she was on a soft surface.

"Mihoshi," Sasami turned towards the blonde, "sleeping together means they . . . well, when a man and a woman really like each other . . ."

"Ohh!" Comprehension dawned on Mihoshi's face. "You mean sex! But I thought here on Earth most people called it--"

"Don't say it!" Ayeka clamped her hands over Sasami's ears.

"Since when does Mihoshi know a word I haven't learned yet?" Sasami protested.

"If you're going to play word games, could you at least close the door again?" Ryoko demanded.

"Oh, sorry." Mihoshi took hold of the door, but then paused. "So does this mean you and Nobuyuki are in love?"

"WHAT?" Ryoko flared. "Me? Love that perverted, depraved, lecherous, no-good--"

"Hey! That's my Dad!" Tenchi's eyes narrowed.

"Uh--well--" Ryoko tried to backtrack.

"And that's also the pot calling the kettle black," Ayeka chimed in.

"You stay out of this, Ayeka!" Ryoko snapped.

"Well, let me at least get you a robe so you can go see Washu." Ayeka said.

"Go see Washu?" Ryoko blinked. "Why would I want to do that?"

"Did you and Nobuyuki . . . umm . . . use precautions?"

"AHH!" Ryoko looked aghast. "I don't know! I don't remember any of it!"

"You mean Tenchi could be getting a baby brother or sister?" Sasami exclaimed.

"Oh, that would be so darling!" Mihoshi gushed.

"It would NOT!" yelled Ryoko.

"Don't worry," Ayeka soothed, "I'm sure that Nobuyuki will do the right thing and make you an honest woman if you're expecting."

"Make me a -- what?"

"She means he'll marry you," explained Sasami.

"_Marry_?" If anyone had bet that Ryoko couldn't get more horrified, they would have lost their money at that moment. "Never! Never in a hundred thousand million billion yea--"

"But we could have such a beautiful ceremony," said Ayeka, "think of Sasami doing the catering, and I could arrange the flowers, and Mihoshi would make a lovely maid of honor . . ."

"How wonderful!" Sasami and Mihoshi exclaimed together, their eyes lighting up.

"Nooo!" Ryoko's eyes, however, were panic-stricken. "This is a nightmare! I'll never drink saké again!"

"Oh, you don't mean _that_." Ayeka said.

"Yes I do! Go to my room. Clean out the saké--every bottle!"

Ayeka shook her head. "No, I really couldn't accept it. You just need some time to think this over."

"Fine, fine." Ryoko doubted it, but Ayeka looked set in her refusal. "In the meantime, I need a bath. Mihoshi, can you scrub me down? Hard?"

"I think Brother Yosho will help you perform a _kessai_ (water purification)." Ayeka suggested. "It's also supposed to bring good fortune."

"Yes! Yes!" Ryoko seized at the idea. "I need all the luck I can get! Now if you can all just leave so I can get out of bed . . ."

"But what's stopping you from teleporting?" Mihoshi asked.

Ryoko stared at her for a long moment. "Oh, yeah." She said, and disappeared.

A short time later, Ryoko was one of the most dutiful shrine worshippers in Japan. She had put on the traditional white shrine maiden's outfit, and was stoking the fire under the large barrel for the purification bath. Satisfied that the water was warm, she turned to a large wooden basin next to the barrel.

"I really have to rinse with cold water?" she called to the shrine building.

"Yes, Ryoko." Katsuhito's voice came in reply. "It signifies the sacrifice for the removal of sin."

Gritting her teeth, Ryoko held the basin above her head, and dumped the contents over herself. "Yeeooowww!" she couldn't help exclaiming. (Back in her lab, Washu grinned over the sudden spike in her instrument readings.) Ryoko clapped her hands twice, and bowed her head. At first she could only think _please let this all be a bad dream._ Finally she changed her prayer to _please let Tenchi forgive me._ She removed her robe, folded it with unusual care, and climbed as respectfully into the barrel as she could manage. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. There was too much to worry about, however. If only she had woken up before Nobuyuki had left, so she could find out exactly what had happened. Maybe--just maybe--they had both fallen asleep before anything serious?

Ryoko opened eyes with a start. Come to think of it, why hadn't she woken up when Nobuyuki's alarm clock had gone off? Space pirates slept light--it was a matter of survival. And why hadn't Ayeka made more comments about the situation? This should have been the perfect opportunity to for her to tell anyone within earshot that she had been right all along about Ryoko's character. And on top of that, she had refused the offer of Ryoko's saké stash. Ayeka had a capacity for alcohol almost as great as Ryoko's, and she never turned down saké without a reason . . . perhaps a guilty conscience. Ryoko's face slowly turned crimson.

One of the disadvantages of life at the Masaki household is that when some members go ballistic, they do it literally. Ryoko blasted out of the barrel in a spray of instantly vaporized steam. Phasing into her gray and red battle-suit, she went into an arc that would take her to the top of the clouds, and then back down to the house by the lake.

Happily, one of the advantages of the Masaki household is that there are early warning systems. "WARNING--WARNING!" Azaka and Kamidake came through the living room with sirens wailing and lights flashing. "RYOKO ALERT! RYOKO IS INBOUND. THIS IS NOT A DRILL, REPEAT, NOT A DRILL."

The repetition was totally unnecessary. From the first words, the household had sprung into action. Metal shutters went up over windows, protective covers went over furniture, fragile objects were stowed in cupboards, and a wall of sandbags appeared between the house and the lake, courtesy of Washu.

Mihoshi was handing out the helmets and anti-beam goggles to everyone when she noticed Ayeka putting on her shoes by the front door. Usually, the princess refused to leave the area until Ryoko actually arrived, so that the ex-space-pirate would not have the satisfaction of making her move. "Ayeka, you're going out to meet her?"

Ayeka nodded. "I have a good idea what Ryoko's problem is this time."

Tenchi looked at the princess. "Ayeka -- you did something, didn't you?"

"Yes, Lord Tenchi." Ayeka confessed. "I could not leave things as they were." She finished with her shoes, and dashed out the door.

Tenchi hung his head. "Will it never end?" he demanded, but no one was listening.

Ayeka could move remarkably quickly when she needed to. Summoning her miniature logs, she sprinted to a clear area a short distance from the house. She looked up and spotted Ryoko descending. A grim smile played across her face, and she raised her arms to focus her shield to its maximum. Ryoko struck with a thunderclap, sending a shock wave that tore leaves off the branches of the nearby trees and shook the walls of the house beyond.

"You liar!" Ryoko shouted. But the princess' shield held, and from the expressions on the combatant's faces it was clear that Ryoko's strike had done more hurt to herself than her opponent.

"And what about you?" Ayeka shouted back. "Those pictures were just as fake!"

"At least you knew you hadn't actually done anything!" Ryoko dropped to where the force sphere met the ground and tried to lift it and Ayeka with it.

"And so do you--now!" Ayeka dissipated the shield, and her logs shot streamers at Ryoko, trying to trap the cyan-haired woman. Ryoko sprang clear just in time.

At the top of the steps leading up to the shrine, Yosho looked down and observed the combat. His expression was judicial, with a hint of disapproval. Back at the house, however, things were much more vocal.

"Ryoko looks even madder than usual!" announced Mihoshi, peering above the sandbags. There was a medium-sized explosion, and a flash of light illuminated her for a moment. "Wow! What a blaster shot!"

"Go, daughter!" Washu cheered.

"Hey! Be fair!" said Sasami. "Go, big sis!"

"How about 'stop, everyone'?" moaned Tenchi, to no effect.

"Look at Ayeka dodge!" said Mihoshi.

"See the value of practice," Washu couldn't help lecturing. "She's learned just about all of Ryoko's moves by now. Come to think of it, Ryoko's insults aren't very original either."

"You should have seen your face!" came Ayeka's taunt. "I'll bet you never looked so scared in your life!"

"Scared? I'll show you scared!" Ryoko pointed her hands at the ground, spread her fingers, and concentrated. Wisps of white, looking like puffs of smoke, began to come out of the ground and flow together.

Ayeka instantly realized what was happening. "No, Ryoko! You can't control it!" She ran towards her opponent and launched herself into a flying strike, trying to disrupt the formation of Ryoko's spirit-monster. Ryoko phased herself with a chuckle, allowing the princess to pass through her and come to an undignified landing a short distance away.

Ayeka scrambled to her feet. "Ryoko, stop! You'll be in as much danger as I will!"

"Now why would a monster go after sweet and beautiful me, when he could have a loud-mouthed princess?" Ryoko resumed guiding the spirit wisps together. Rapidly the arms and legs formed, and then the multi-eyed head. In a few moments Ryoko looked with satisfaction at her finished creation.  
"It's only polite of me to give you and your new boyfriend some privacy. Be sure to tell me the details of your first date!" She waved good-bye, and started to teleport.

And that was as far as she got. Her outlines grew faint for a moment, but immediately solidified. "What?" she exclaimed. She tried again, with the same result. The spirit-demon turned to look at the noise and activity. Ryoko decided that old-fashioned running would do in this case, and began to sprint away. Immediately she ran face-first into an invisible wall. Shaking her head from the impact, she noticed that Ayeka's miniature logs were now in a large circle, low to the ground, surrounding both her and the spirit-demon.

"I'm afraid I wasn't accurate," said Ayeka, "you'll be in considerably more danger than I will."

"Ayeka!" Ryoko screamed. "Drop your dammed force-field _right now_!"

"And let two monsters loose on the countryside?" Ayeka said quizzically.

Ryoko growled and fired a bolt of energy at the force-field. It bounced off, and ricocheted around the inside of the sphere, causing Ryoko to duck hastily before it finally blew the left leg off the spirit-demon. The monster growled, waited a moment for the leg to re-attach, and then lunged at Ryoko. She dodged, and in moments the two were racing around like goldfish inside a huge invisible bowl. Only the fear of grass stains on her clothes kept Ayeka from rolling on the ground laughing.

"You can run, but you can't hide!" the princess called out.

Ryoko snarled, summoned all of her energy, and hurled herself against the force-field. Since it was larger than usual, and didn't have Ayeka at its center, the globe ruptured with a loud bang. Ayeka cried out and fell to her knees as a good amount of her power was dissipated. The strain in Ryoko's face showed that she was even more drained. But there was the stir of movement behind her, and she rolled clear as the massive arm of the spirit-demon came down and ripped a good-size hole in the ground where she had been.

Both girls, suddenly galvanized, leaped to their feet and took off running for all they were worth. Ayeka headed for the shrine steps, with Ryoko right behind. The monster chased after them.

"Well, this a familiar mess!" Ayeka complained.

"It would have worked just fine if someone hadn't gotten cute with her force-field!" Ryoko didn't have enough power to teleport, but nothing was going to make her let Ayeka have the last word.

"I wasn't about to do nothing!" Ayeka retorted, starting to pant from going up the steps, "Much as you would have liked me to!"

"Well, how about doing something now! That thing doesn't get tired going upstairs!" Ryoko pointed out.

"Katsuhito! Priest Katsuhito!" Ayeka shouted, careful to use her brother's Earth name outdoors. "We have a problem with spirits!"

"_That's_ your brilliant idea?" Ryoko was not impressed. "Call on your big brother? What can he do?"

Just then, the fleeing pair reached the top of the steps and ran onto the level ground surrounding the shrine. They headed across towards the building, and found the priest already outside, in a combat stance with his _bokken_ (wooden sword) held ready. Katsuhito performed an acrobatic leap, going up to the level of the spirit-demon's shoulders and taking its head off with a lightning-fast cut. He landed like a hawk touching down, and immediately reversed his movement. As the monster tried to re-attach its head, Katsuhito charged in from behind it, his bokken whirling like a propeller. A cloud of white seemed to erupt as if a giant sack of flour had been burst open. The cloud resolved itself into the spirit-wisps Ryoko had originally summoned, now separated again. Katsuhito waved in a commanding gesture, and the wisps faded back into the ground.

Ryoko's mouth hung open for several seconds before she remembered to close it. "Oh yeah . . . I guess Shinto priests do know something about spirits."

Katsuhito lowered his bokken, and turned to face Ayeka and Ryoko, who both looked rather tired from their scramble to evade the spirit-demon. "Ryoko," he said in a quiet but disapproving voice, "you left without completing the kessai ceremony."

"Well, it turns out I don't need it." Ryoko answered, shooting a venomous glance at Ayeka.

"All of us are in need of purification from time to time," Katsuhito said firmly, "and the Masaki way is to finish what one has begun." And Ryoko found herself going back towards the barrel on top of the low fire. The priest turned to face his sister. "Ayeka, I saw the beginning of the fight, and I confess to being disappointed."

Ayeka straightened up, checked to see that there were no visitors at the shrine, and addressed her brother. "I am sorry for the disruption my actions have helped to bring about, brother Yosho. But it was necessary."

"Actually," the swordsman-priest replied, "I was speaking about your mediocre execution of the Streamer Trap."

"Eh?"

"Perhaps one or two training sessions would be in order." From Yosho's tone, there was little 'perhaps' about it.

Ayeka couldn't help but reflect that being First Princess of Jurai didn't stop her from being ordered around a remarkable amount.


	7. Duel at Lab Gulch

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" are Copyright AIC, Pioneer LDC, and Funimation. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

Foreword: I have included Japanese phrases in italics, with the translation in parentheses immediately after. (For me, footnotes break up the flow of dialogue.) This story supposedly takes place before the changes of OVA Season III. (Many of which I disapprove of.)

**Showing Restraint, Part II: Duel at Lab Gulch**

It took considerable time to finish the purification ceremony to Katsuhito's satisfaction and put everything away. So, it was not until later in the day that Ryoko was ready for the second person on her "accounts to be settled" list. She knocked on the door of the broom closet under the stairs, and was rewarded with the tone that meant the sub-space entrance was active.

When she went through the door, however, the scene was entirely different from Washu's usual work area. She found herself stepping onto the street of what looked like a Wild West ghost town. A saloon door swung shut behind her, and a tumbleweed rolled by a few yards away. It wasn't too hard to guess that Washu was expecting the confrontation. _Damn that link_, Ryoko thought for the eight hundred and twenty-third time. But it would take a good deal more than that to stop her. Looking up and down the street, Ryoko spotted a short figure leaning against a rail. A shock of red hair came from under the ten-gallon hat.

Ryoko summoned energy into her palm. Tossing the glowing sphere up and down like a coin, she walked towards the pint-sized scientist. As she approached, she noticed that Washu was whittling what looked like a piece of wood from a Juraian Royal tree with a small energy-blade.

"I hear you been lookin' for me." Washu drawled.

"Darn right I have--" Ryoko began.

"You're supposed to say 'yup', Ryoko!" Washu interrupted. "Honestly, kids these days. They just don't know how to behave."

"These days? I've been around since long before there was a Wild West, let alone unrealistic movies. . ." Ryoko shook her head to get herself back on track. "Never mind that! What was the idea of teaming up with Ayeka to pull that outrageous stunt on me?"

"So you figured out that I had to be involved?" Washu's smirk did nothing to improve Ryoko's temper.

"Who else could have arranged for the gap in my memory, and moved me into Nobuyuki's bed after he'd left?"

"Actually, Ayeka took care of moving you. She's pretty good at manipulating objects with those logs of hers. You could learn from her about a more delicate touch."

"That still doesn't explain why!" Ryoko snapped. "What did I do to you?"

"Think about it, Ryoko!" Suddenly Washu's temper flared even higher than Ryoko's. She turned to face Ryoko squarely, and the ex-space-pirate noticed that the gun in Washu's holster was a potent-looking blaster with a barrel big enough for Ryo-Ohki to have put her head in. Ryoko's energy shper faded. "Those were MY confidential files you helped yourself to. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was telling people that their personal information might not be so personal anymore? Tenchi was going to refuse to be in any more experiments!" Washu's tone sounded as if Christmas was going to be permanently cancelled. "I have to let him keep his clothes on until I can develop a hack-proof system. And Ayeka! Do you know how long I tried to get her to tell me about sex practices on Jurai? Because of you I had to listen to a twenty-minute 'see-I-told-you-so' speech!"

"Now that's your own fault for wasting your time in the first place," Ryoko laughed. "Like Princess Prude could tell you or anyone anything useful about sex."

"You walking fountain of ignorance!" Washu nearly exploded. "Ayeka would have been a gold mine! She was a champion in erotic techniques on Jurai!"

"That's ridiculous!" Ryoko sneered. "Has Mihoshi been dropping things on your head again? How would Ayeka know anything about what to do with a bed besides ironing the sheets?"

"Lady Funaho told us about it, while you were trying to skedaddle from Lady Misaki." Washu turned sarcastic as well.

"And you believed a story like that?" Ryoko pretended concern. "Did you get between Ryo-Ohki and a carrot?"

"It makes a lot of sense, for people who bother to think about it." Washu glared, then continued in a lecturing tone. "Juraian medical technology may not be up to my level, but it's still pretty advanced. Unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases were wiped out some time ago. Obviously they're not going to have the same attitudes and restrictions that this world does. Juraian women, and princesses especially, are rumored to have remarkable sexual abilities. It's what helps the Juraian Empire make alliances by marriage."

"Well obviously, Ayeka is the exception to the rule." Ryoko was unimpressed. "I've lived with her even longer than you have. She's no competition for me."

"Oh yes she is! Didn't I tell you on board the Souja that your erotic warfare abilities were affected?" Washu's voice practically dripped acid. "It may surprise you to learn that some people don't feel the need to brag about their abilities."

"Preposterous! There's no way Her Royal Inhibitedness is sexier than me!" Ryoko declared. "I know what it is: you're feverish. Oh, I've _told_ you to stay away from Ayeka's cooking . . ."

"No way? At this point, Ayeka would mop the floor with you! Not that you've had much experience lately in mopping floors either." Washu added pointedly.

"Yeah? Prove it!"

"You know I can't!" Washu snapped.

"Because it's not true." Ryoko folded her arms.

"No, lamebrain! Because Ayeka would never agree to participate."

"Hah! When before has that ever stopped you?" Ryoko shot back.

"Hmm." Washu immediately calmed down. "Good point."

---------

There are a number of advantages to having the greatest scientific genius in the universe living in the house. Major damage to walls, GP cruisers, and family members can be repaired quickly and with hardly a trace. Amazing gadgets can be borrowed or even given as gifts for special occasions. But there are also a number of disadvantages, the greatest being the occasional kidnapping for scientific experiments.

Ayeka realized that her turn had come a few moments too late. She had gone to the broom closet to get a smock for her chores for the day, and instead of work clothes and brooms, she found herself ambushed by a swarm of metal tentacles. Since she had to uphold the dignity of a Juraian princess, she didn't struggle. Once the greatest scientific genius in the universe had her clamps on you, you could only escape by phenomenal luck or divine intervention, and Ayeka was neither Mihoshi nor Sasami. (Besides, even if she had escaped, it was still her day to clean the toilet.)

But when the tentacles had brought her to the heart of Washu's lab, the scene that greeted her was out of one of her nightmares. Off to one side was Ryoko, similarly in the grip of Washu's devices and protesting noisily about it. And at a large control panel was Washu, dressed in her "Angel of Mercy" nurse's outfit. That, as the entire Masaki household had learned, was a very good thing if you were seriously injured, but a bad thing in every other circumstance.

"Washu--you're not going to switch our brains, are you?" Ayeka tried to keep the note of panic out of her voice.

"No, no." Washu said. "Trust me, after the hundred and forty-seventh brain swap, the thrill is gone. Besides, I like Ryoko's brain exactly where it is. I put it there."

Ayeka straightened herself as best she could. "Then perhaps you would explain the meaning behind this outrageous assault?"

"Certainly." Washu grinned like the Cheshire Cat. "When Lady Funaho was here, she mentioned your accomplishments at Juraian erotic techniques--"

"_What!_" Ayeka lost her composure again. "She . . . well, she must have been making up a story to have a little fun with you."

"See! I knew that was it!" Ryoko looked as triumphant as she could while suspended in mid-air by tentacles. "Now if you'll just release these damn things . . ."

Washu kept her attention on Ayeka. "By the way, she mentioned that your record time for changing into a latex body-suit stood for over a century."

"A century?" For just a moment, an expression of delight crossed Ayeka's face, then vanished. "I mean, I'm sure I don't know what she was talking about!"

"Anyway," Washu continued, "Ryoko is having a hard time believing it. So I thought I would set up a side-by-side comparison test."

"And why do I have to be secured like this?" Ryoko continued her complaints. "Ayeka's the one who would run! She knows she's going to lose."

"Lose?" Ayeka's expression would have re-defined the phrase 'mixed emotions'.

"The conditions have to be identical for each test subject." Washu lectured Ryoko. "Anyway, you'll scarcely notice once I begin the virtual reality program. Lady Funaho was very helpful; she allowed me to get a copy of the program for last year's Trans-Jurai championship." Washu shook her head. "It's an excellent piece of work. I think it's just shameful that it's only worth twenty-five percent of the total score."

"The virtual reality round?" Ayeka hesitated a moment, then made up her mind. "Very well. Let the record show that I agree to participate under duress. You may release us."

"Yeah--get these things off!" Ryoko chimed in.

"Oh, but it's so much more fun this way." Washu said. The tentacles stayed right where they were. Two helmets with dark face shields lowered over the heads of the two girls, cutting off their protests. Washu leaned over the control panel, working dials and buttons. Smiling, she began to hum.

"Pardon me Miss,  
But I've never done this,  
With a real…live…girl…"

--------

A little while later, the broom closet door swung open again, and the two who observed it saw Ryoko literally emerge under a cloud. There was a large puff of smoke indicating that the fire suppression system had been activated again. Ryoko also had patches of soot in her clothes and her hair. But this did not fully explain why her ears drooped, her eyes were downcast, and her steps slow and automatic. Behind her came Ayeka. The princess was also soot-stained and disheveled. But her expression was one of serene happiness. Her eyes seemed to shine, and her smile would have made the Mona Lisa jealous. It was all the more striking because she was being yelled at by the third person.

". . . and _two_ N'deni relays! It's not like I can just go to the corner store to get replacements in this part of the galaxy!" Washu's voice came from right behind the princess. "Dammit, Ayeka, you could have told me to adjust the potential levels!"

"No, Lady Washu, I really could not." Ayeka replied politely but without a hint of apology.

Washu came out of the doorway, intent on continuing her tirade. "And just why is tha--" The redheaded genius stopped as a pair of shadows fell across her from either side. Given the huge volume of information stored in her brain, it was not surprising that she occasionally suffered from "absent-minded professor" syndrome. It wasn't that she forgot things entirely, but sometimes even major points were pushed to the back of her attention while concentrating on a task. But now she was instantly reminded of the reason, or rather two reasons, why she preferred to use Tenchi or Ryoko for her experiments rather than Ayeka.

"You have molested our princess!" stated Azaka.

"We cannot overlook such effrontery!" declared Kamidake.

"_Shimatta!_ (I blew it!)" said Washu. Being a genius, she had originally developed a plan for avoiding retaliation from Ayeka's two guardians. Unfortunately, a key part of that plan involved being on the other side of her lab door.

Ayeka seemingly paid no attention to what was happening behind her. Even when there came a series of loud thuds sounding much like two large logs repeatedly pile-driving into a smaller and softer object, she continued her unhurried pace, and did not turn around. She went up the stairs with a light step, and walked into the room she shared with Sasami. Her sister was not there. Ayeka closed the door, and latched it. Quietly but efficiently she drew the curtains over the windows, then checked the corners of the room and the closet to make sure there were no observers.

And then the First Princess of Jurai pumped her fist in the air, and shouted, "Still got it!"

Author's note: In OVA episode 11, "The Advent of the Goddess", Washu elicits a moan from Ayeka with a single touch, and comments that her response is "worthy of a Princess of Jurai" (sub-titled version). I have developed a little on that idea for this chapter.


	8. Resolutions

Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" are Copyright AIC, Pioneer LDC, and Funimation. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

Although Ayeka was elated, Ryoko was experiencing an emotion new to her. In her long career, she had known fear, anguish, and despair, but never before had she felt deep depression. She had been beaten, by the person she least wanted to lose to, at just about the last thing she would have believed. And it hadn't been luck or temporary weakness. It was certain that any rematch would end the same way.

Finding out that Sasami would eventually have both Tsunami's powers and beauty had been disturbing, but this was the equivalent of a round-house punch. Before, Ryoko had always viewed Ayeka as a maddening delay, but not a genuine threat. The violet-haired princess, in Ryoko's eyes, was pretty in the way a porcelain doll might be, but no match for Ryoko in grown-up womanly allure. But now, Ayeka was not merely her equal but her superior in a vital area. More, Tenchi had already learned of Ayeka's expertise.

But even though her current mood was new to her, Ryoko already had a fair idea of what to do about it. Get her stash of saké, get into the onsen, and get seriously drunk. It did not improve her mood one bit to realize that it was thanks to Ayeka's conscience that she still had a saké stash. She thrust the unwelcome thought out of her mind, phased into her room, and gathered up three bottles. She made sure that none of them were really high-quality, and all of them were large. She gathered together a towel and soap, placed them in her wooden basin for rinsing water, and teleported directly to the floating bath.

Usually, the routine of scrubbing down before entering the pool of hot water was an annoying delay. If Ryoko had her way she would simply phase out of her clothes and jump right in. But she had found that this displeased everybody, not just Ayeka, and while it was bad enough that Mihoshi and Sasami would look at her unhappily, Washu would brain her with one of the large mallets she kept handy in subspace. Today, however, Ryoko found the routine oddly comforting. After all, when the universe has been turned upside down, you have nowhere urgent to go.

But there was something of a disadvantage to Ryoko taking her time. As she was getting a lather of soap, Mihoshi walked in. It was the blonde's usual bad timing: if Ryoko teleported out at that point, she would have to abandon her saké bottles. Of course, now she would have to share some of it with Mihoshi, or the GP detective would make disappointed puppy-dog eyes at her. But Ryoko couldn't bring herself to leave it all.

"Hi, Ryoko!" Mihoshi called cheerily, completely oblivious to the cyan-haired woman's foul mood. "Can I help you scrub your back?"

"Sure, why not." Ryoko couldn't immediately think of a good reason to refuse.

Whatever deficiencies Mihoshi might have in other areas, she could be remarkably efficient at tasks that didn't involve breakable objects. In just a few moments she had dipped a washcloth in warm water, put on some soap, and was washing the hard-to-reach spots with a practiced hand. Ryoko had to admit it was a convenience.

"My, your back muscles are tight today." Mihoshi remarked. "Did you have another shouting match with Ayeka?"

"No, a different kind of match." Ryoko said, and then realized this wasn't a subject she wanted Mihoshi to pursue. "I'd rather not say what kind, though."

"Oh, okay." Mihoshi said, losing none of her cheer. "My turn, now. Could you make sure to clean between my shoulder blades? I think I squashed a mushroom when I rolled off the patio."

Ryoko scrubbed the requested place, and found it was indeed a little sticky. Not wanting to let Mihoshi do a better job than herself, she industriously washed until every trace was gone, then continued to the rest of Mihoshi's back. The two women rinsed off, Ryoko in silence, and Mihoshi humming softly. The thought crossed Ryoko's mind that she herself would have been itching with curiosity about what had happened with Ayeka, but the GP detective seemed quite content not to investigate.

And it was Ryoko who asked the next question. Without bothering to wrap herself, Mihoshi slid into the water. "No towel today, Mihoshi?" Ryoko inquired, surprised out of the silence she had meant to preserve.

"No, I usually wear a towel when Ayeka or Sasami are around." Mihoshi replied. "But this way, I don't have to worry about losing it. Can I have some saké, please?"

"Coming up." Ryoko unsealed the first bottle, and poured a healthy measure into the saucer that Mihoshi was holding. She poured an even more generous amount into her own cup, set the bottle down, and drained half of the cup at one go. "Ahh," she smacked her lips, "I needed that."

Mihoshi lowered her saucer after having imbibed as well. "Ryoko . . . if you don't mind my asking . . ."

_So she's curious after all,_ thought Ryoko.

"How do you enjoy saké when you have so little sense of taste?" Mihoshi finished.

"Oh." Ryoko sat up, caught off guard. "Well, actually, my body can sense the effect of various chemicals. The energy content of sugars and fat, for instance. Saké turns out to be the best form of alcohol for me. And, of course, it's fun getting plastered."

"So, it's kind of like having a sixth sense, except you don't have the fifth sense of taste, so you have an extra fifth sense?" Mihoshi concluded.

"Uhh . . . yeah, kind of like that." Ryoko occasionally found Mihoshi's logic a little hard to follow, especially when the saké was kicking in. "So, about wearing a towel. Don't you resent Ayeka for scolding you when you don't want to?"

"Oh, no, she doesn't scold." Mihoshi shook her head. "She just offers me a towel so politely that it's hard to refuse. And I can't blame her for being protective around Sasami, after all."

Ryoko thought for a few moments. It was true that Ayeka had never criticized her for bathing nude when there were only adult women around. "Hmm. Suppose I told you that Ayeka has, shall we say, a naughty side as well?"

"Oh, you mean about Juraian sex techniques?"

"You knew!" Ryoko nearly spilled her saké.

"Sure. Lady Funaho told us about it. And my Grandfather confirmed it when I wrote to him. He's been learning everything possible about the royal houses of Jurai." Mihoshi's expression turned worried. "I hope that doesn't mean he's planning on having a war with Jurai. It would be just like Grandpa." She finished in the same tone she might have used about the refusal to return a neighbor's lawnmower.

Between the saké and Mihoshi's conversation, Ryoko felt her head begin to spin. She tried to focus on the original subject. "But didn't you find that part about Ayeka hard to believe? She certainly doesn't look like an expert in the subject."

"Well, you can never tell by just looking at someone." Mihoshi said reasonably. "Take me, for instance. Hardly anybody believes at first that I was at the top of my class in marksmanship."

There, Ryoko realized, was a sound point. Mihoshi might be a tad light on brainpower, but she was definitely not someone you wanted to see at the far end of a blaster pointed in your direction. Ryoko thought back to when Mihoshi, Ayeka, and Tenchi were fighting their way onto Dr. Clay's ship. Mihoshi had shot her way through a swarm of Dr. Clay's guard-robots in a way that would have done Annie Oakley proud.

"Of course," Mihoshi continued, "it took a lot of work. The first few times I practiced, some shots did go kind of off target." Ryoko suddenly had visions of target ranges in ruins and instructors ducking for their lives. In spite of herself, she smiled. "But Grandfather assigned the best coaches in the Academy, and I started doing really well."

"It's nice to be able to get the best teachers." Ryoko commented. "I suppose it comes with being a Kuramitsu."

"Oh, yes, that's why Grandfather knew I had the potential." Mihoshi sounded completely oblivious to the idea of favoritism.

Ryoko realized that Ayeka had probably received the same advantages. House Masaki could pull in the best instructors on Jurai, and the best on Jurai were probably the best in the galaxy. Now it made sense. Ryoko had forgotten that Ayeka had stayed on Jurai for five years after her raid and Yosho's departure. Apparently, those five years hadn't been wasted. And there was the fact that Ryoko's body had atrophied over the nearly seven centuries that had been only an instant for the princess.

Ryoko frowned for a moment at that thought. In several ways, she was still slowly recovering from her confinement in the cave, and even more from what Kagato had done to her before that. She didn't bother Tenchi about the sword and its two gems any more, because Washu had determined that her body wasn't ready for the additional power yet. In fact, it hadn't been properly ready when Kagato had placed all three gems into her, those thousands of years ago. Washu's words about her 'erotic warfare' abilities came back to her. She hadn't believed it, because she hadn't wanted to believe it. Now, it was undeniable. But--it didn't have to stay that way. Ryoko's face took on a determined expression. Like Mihoshi, she had the potential. What she needed was training.

But training from whom? Ryoko grimaced as she realized it had to be from Ayeka. Obviously it couldn't be Sasami. Whatever Mihoshi might know about the subject, communicating it clearly was going to be a problem. And while Washu might have the technical knowledge, the idea of being taught erotic skills by someone in a twelve-year-old body, who happened to be her mother, was beyond weird. More, given her confinement by Kagato, the red-haired scientist would be even rustier than Ryoko herself.

Ah. That's an excellent point. Came a voice in the back of her mind.

_Damn that link,_ thought Ryoko for the eight hundred and twenty-fourth time.

------

There was unhappiness elsewhere in the house as well.

"You look a little depressed, son." Nobuyuki commented.

"I guess I am." Tenchi admitted. "I was really hoping, after Ryoko returned, that things would calm down around here. But then Ayeka had to try to get even, and there's just as much fighting as ever. Ayeka is supposed to be the responsible one -- couldn't she just let it go?"

Nobuyuki stared at a distant point for a moment, then focused back on his son. "I guess now is a good time for a little confession I've been meaning to make to you."

"Confession?" Tenchi looked at his father.

"You see, I knew about Ryoko all along." Nobuyuki began. "Katsuhito told me when I got engaged to your mother. He said it was only fair that I should know what I was getting into when I became part of the Masaki family. That is, House Masaki of Jurai." Nobuyuki paused for a moment to gather his thoughts. "I know what's happened since you opened Ryoko's cave has been a shock to you, and maybe it would have been better if you'd had some warning. But your grandfather said you should have a few years of quiet after your mother died, without having to worry about possible mass devastation in the future. I admit I was caught off guard when things finally started happening. In fact, I didn't recognize Ryoko at first. And not even Katsuhito expected everyone including Washu and Mihoshi to move in with us. But we did know your life was going to get a lot more complicated."

"So it's always going to be this way?" Tenchi asked.

"Not always. Do you remember, you once asked Ryoko if she had any conscience? As it turns out, hers was forcibly removed. Essentially, she's growing a new one, and it's going remarkably fast when you think how long she was under Kagato's domination. You have a great deal to do with that, I'm very proud to say." Nobuyuki put his arm on Tenchi's shoulder. "But Ayeka is doing her part too. Ryoko needs an opponent who won't back down, someone she can respect even while struggling with her."

"But after all, dad," Tenchi was still unhappy, "what if Ryoko had decided to do something to you?"

"Washu wouldn't have let it get that far." Nobuyuki seemed unperturbed at the thought of having someone who could level buildings, with either energy beams or bare hands, after his hide.

"You're actually pleased at the idea of you and Ryoko together, aren't you?" Tenchi asked.

Nobuyuki gave a partly embarrassed grin. "Well, it's nice to be thought of as still in the game, if you know what I mean."

Tenchi smiled in spite of himself. "But tell me -- doesn't it bother you, knowing any day what might erupt? Never knowing if the house is going to be there when you get home from work?"

"I'm pretty proud of the house, but I'm even prouder of what's inside it. I know it looks like Ryoko and Ayeka are always fighting, but when you think about it, they haven't blown up any schools or demolished any bridges lately. And I have a feeling some good actually will come from this latest quarrel."

"Just a feeling?"

"Based on experience." There was confidence in Nobuyuki's voice. "I've had the advantage of a number of talks with your grandfather. And you'd be surprised how intense rivalries can get in an architectural firm."

------

Ayeka came up the stairs to her room in a much different way than she had two hours before. She was again surprisingly disheveled for a princess. This time, however, her clothes were unusually plain, and they were stained with sweat and dust instead of smoke and soot marks. More, her step was leaden, slower but heavier than her usual pace.

Ryoko looked over her rival from the spot next to the door where she had been waiting patiently. Since she was about to ask Ayeka for a favor, she decided it was best not to comment on the princess' appearance. She couldn't quite bring herself to bow, but she spoke in the most polite voice she could manage. "Good afternoon, Ayeka."

Ayeka halted, and gave Ryoko a wary look. "Good afternoon, Miss Ryoko."

"Ayeka, I need you to train me." Ryoko said directly. There was no need to say in what area she was talking about.

"Miss Ryoko, I would have to be crazy. For at least two reasons." Ayeka turned to go into her room.

"And those are?" Ryoko asked before Ayeka could take a step.

"The first I believe you know already." Ayeka replied. "The second I prefer not to discuss."

"I could give you some training in return." Ryoko suggested. "How to fire a beam while flying, for instance."

"Additional training in combat," Ayeka's face showed weariness, "is not appealing to me at this point." Ryoko realized that Katsuhito must have made good on his suggestion of one or two practice sessions. That was unpleasant news, both because it took away a bargaining chip and because it meant Ayeka would be an even tougher opponent in future fights.

"Ayeka, I need to be the best I can be." Ryoko said calmly but firmly. "I won't give up."

"You will have to go to someone else." Ayeka's voice was equally unyielding.

"You are the best available." Ryoko returned.

"How do you know I wouldn't deliberately teach you badly?" Ayeka asked.

"That's simple enough. Katsuhito would never teach sloppy swordsmanship. Sasami would never teach poor cooking." Ryoko pointed out. "And you are their sister."

Ayeka sighed. "Of all the times for you to start using your brains."

"I guess I'm not a _bakemono_ (idiot monster) after all, eh?" Ryoko grinned.

"_Bakemono_ or not," Ayeka said, "my answer is still no." She went into her room and closed the door without a backward look.

Ryoko rubbed her chin in thought. The first encounter had gone about as expected. But she had spoken the truth when she had said she needed to do this. Both for herself -- and Tenchi. Time to bring in the heavy artillery.

------

Washu found Ayeka just outside the house, sipping a cup of tea and watching the ripples on the lake. "Good afternoon, Princess Ayeka," she said, sitting down gently.

"Good afternoon, Lady Washu." Ayeka replied with a knowing smile, "You want something from me, I take it."

"Ah, yes, actually." Washu decided to abandon the subtle approach. "I want you to teach Ryoko."

"I'm afraid that is impossible." Ayeka's tone was polite but definite.

"I don't see why it should be." Washu said. "If you're worried about giving up an advantage with Tenchi, I think you're actually better off if you agree."

"How is that?" Ayeka couldn't help asking.

"First of all, Tenchi wouldn't make his choice based on that. He's not like his father."

"Not yet, perhaps," Ayeka demurred, "but I think his interest will pick up considerably in a few years. I knew his grandfather at that age."

"Be that as it may, Tenchi would be more impressed now by your generosity if you agreed." said Washu. "Assuming, of course, that he hasn't made his choice already."

"Already?" Ayeka almost squeaked in surprise. "But . . . wouldn't he have said something about it?"

"I think he's waiting for people to grow up," Washu replied.

"Sasami . . . he's going to marry Sasami." Ayeka lowered her head. "I really should have known."

"Now, now, Ayeka -- I said 'people', remember?" Washu pointed out. "One of them is Tenchi himself. I don't think he's fully ready yet for the idea of relationships outside his species."

"Oh." Ayeka's expression looked only a little less worried. "In any case, this is not something I should be talking about."

"The taboo about talking to outsiders? You don't need to worry about discussing this with me," Washu reassured the princess. "I am still a member of the Academy. I've just been on a five-thousand-year involuntary sabbatical."

Ayeka had to laugh at that. "I suppose I'm in no position to criticize, since I myself took a seven-hundred-year nap. But," her gaze became inquisitive, "why are you arguing on behalf of Ryoko? It's more like you to argue _with_ her."

"Because this time I completely agree with what she's trying to do." Washu's expression turned serious. "I meant for Ryoko to become the greatest warrior in the galaxy. But I never meant for her to be that and nothing more. I want her to become a whole person, and that means developing her other abilities. Like the one you developed." The pint-sized genius reached into a hole that suddenly opened in the air next to her, and brought out what looked like a scroll tied with green ribbon. "Let me show you something else Lady Funaho helped me get a copy of."

Ayeka's eyes widened as she recognized it. "My yearbook!"

Washu removed the ribbon and unrolled the cylinder. Now it was clear that it was not made of paper, but something that stiffened as it became flat. Washu moved her fingers across the side, and images began to appear on the surface. There were pictures of a large building in the Juraian style, assemblies in an outdoor amphitheater, and then Washu found the one she wanted. The picture showed a slightly younger version of Ayeka joyfully holding a large trophy, and being carried on the shoulders of a group of cheering classmates. It could have been a typical school victory celebration on Earth -- except for the rather suggestive shape of the trophy.

"I admit that I would have guessed you more for weaving or playing an instrument." Washu said quietly. " Why did you choose that particular extracurricular activity?"

Ayeka seemed to be looking far away for a moment. "Brother Yosho was to Jurai what a rock star is on this world. Handsome, the finest swordsman on the planet, and of course the Crown Prince. He would have been Jurai's most eligible bachelor if he hadn't been betrothed to me from my early childhood. As I grew older, I started to realize how much jealousy there was towards me. Many people whispered, and finally a few said openly, that I didn't deserve him. This was a way I could show them wrong. And," Ayeka blushed a little, "when Sasami started to get so good at cooking, I wanted something she couldn't yet compete in."

"But you never got the chance to show your brother what you'd achieved." Washu's voice was sympathetic.

"No." Ayeka shook her head.

"Well, here is a chance to use it. Ayeka, you know that it was Kagato, and not Ryoko, who was responsible for what happened on Jurai. He twisted Ryoko into a machine of killing and destruction. Don't you want to repair some of the harm that he did?"

"You make a powerful argument there." Ayeka answered slowly. "But it's not that easy. I know that our reluctance to talk to those from other planets seems like a primitive taboo to you, Lady Washu, but it is a strong rule nonetheless. There are consequences for breaking it. Especially in my case. And there is someone who will enforce those consequences."

"No one has to find out, Ayeka." Washu said.

"It is virtually impossible to keep the Devil Princess of Jurai from finding out something she has taken an interest in." Ayeka's voice had the tone of a chess player declaring checkmate. "I imagine your sensors detected Mikagami's presence last week?"

"Yes." Washu admitted. "I wondered about that. Well, sorry for having taken up your time." The red-haired scientist got up. "By the way, I didn't know they had sailor _fuku_ (uniforms) on Jurai as well."

Ayeka nodded. "I have a sneaking suspicion that brother Yosho introduced the style behind the scenes when he thought the time was right."

Washu walked into the house, and was about to enter the closet door under the stairs when there was a displacement of air, and Ryoko appeared beside her. "Well?" the cyan-haired woman demanded.

"Ayeka said no," Washu began, and then broke into a grin, "but she inadvertently told me how to get a yes."

"_Yatta!_ (Yay!)" Ryoko exclaimed, turning a somersault in the air. "Thanks, mom. You're the best."

"Aww, you called me 'mom'!" Washu put an enormous smile on her face, her eyes seeming to expand to the size of Sasami's.

"Uh, yeah." The ex-space-pirate said sheepishly. "Just don't get _too_ used to it, okay?"

Back on the veranda, Ayeka was still thinking over what Washu had said. "Waiting for people to grow up," she repeated softly to herself. But which people? Into her mind came the memory of the desperate battle on board the Souja, and Tenchi's reply to Kagato's taunt. "I would rather die than forsake any of those women." Could he have meant . . . ? Ayeka's face looked flabbergasted. _Ryoko AND Mihoshi as sister-wives?_ She thought. _Ohboy . . ._

------

Three days later, Ayeka walked down the path to where her two guardians stood. "Good afternoon, Azaka, Kamidake. Are you enjoying the sunny weather?"

"Good afternoon, Princess." Azaka replied. "The sunlight and clear sky are indeed pleasant today."

"But we anticipate a period of uncomfortable heat arriving soon." Kamidake weighed in. "By the way, an unusual envelope arrived in today's mail." The wooden guardian rotated, and opened a slot revealing the letters that had been delivered that day.

Ayeka reached inside and gathered the mail. It was easy to see which envelope Kamidake had mentioned. It was larger than usual, colored golden brown, and hand-addressed in bold writing. The violet-haired princess' eyes widened as she saw that it was addressed directly to her. She opened it gingerly, a feeling of unease creeping over her. The message inside read simply:

Dear Ayeka Sweetie,

Train Ryoko -- or else!

Affectionately Yours,

Grandma Seto

For a few moments, Ayeka stood immobilized, except that her fingers slowly crumpled the expensive-looking stationery as her grip tightened. Then she turned and made for the house at high speed, trailing a stream of curses.

"The Princess has certainly expanded her vocabulary since she came to this planet." Azaka remarked.

Inside her lab, Washu straightened on her floating cushion and turned to look behind her. "Three . . .two. . .one. . ." She counted off. The door to the Masaki house appeared right on her cue, and an enraged Ayeka came through it.

"All right, Lady Washu!" The princess stormed. "What deal did you make with my Grandmother?"

"Deal?" Washu tried to keep her voice innocent. "What kind of deal are you talking about, Ayeka?"

"The kind where you give Grandma Seto something so that she orders me to teach Ryoko," Ayeka grated, "as you know perfectly well."

"Now what makes you think that's what happened?" Washu temporized.

"I know you," Ayeka locked her gaze on Washu, "and I know her. Out with it."

"Ah. Now that you mention it, I may have promised to build Lady Seto a battleship." Washu started tapping her index fingers together. "Should she ever happen to need one."

Ayeka turned this over in her mind. There was nothing that she could offer her Grandmother that would outweigh a battleship from the greatest scientific genius in the known universe. And given the potential benefit to Jurai's forces, it might even be her patriotic duty. She gave a sigh of resignation. There were days when being a Juraian Princess was more trouble than it was worth. "Very well, Lady Washu. I will need to know some of the details of Ryoko's sensory perception."

"Her . . . senses?" Washu blinked.

"Yes." Ayeka nodded. "Here on Earth, people tend to concentrate on sight, but Juraian techniques are meant to stimulate all the senses in turn. I know that Ryoko has a very limited sense of taste. How is her hearing and sense of smell?"

"I see your point!" Washu looked excited. She swiveled on her cushion, and began tapping her holo-keyboard. "Okay . . . here are the frequency ranges . . . and these are the parts per billion in standard atmospheres . . ."

"Umm, Lady Washu?" Ayeka interrupted. "It would be . . . helpful . . . to have that in terms of how low the background music can be and how many scented candles would be needed."

"Non-scientists." Washu muttered. "Oh, speaking of that, Ayeka, I know this is going to feel a bit uncomfortable--"

"The word 'uncomfortable' doesn't BEGIN to describe it." Ayeka returned.

"Whatever." Washu waved away the objection. "This is a unique opportunity. 'Sexual Responses in a Hominid-Mass-Robot Fusion'. It'll be the research paper of the century! And you should have credit as a co-researcher."

"Please, Lady Washu, keep my name out of it." Ayeka implored. "This is definitely _not_ what I want to be known for."

------

( Many years later . . . )

There is a noticeable change in the atmosphere of a police station when the staff realizes they have a tiger by the tail. Some head for the nearest door, making excuses about duties elsewhere. Others gather at a safe observing distance, watching for careers to go down in flames. And always there is a scramble to pass the buck upwards as far as possible. This station was at the far edge of galactic civilization, but matters proceeded no differently.

"So what is a Queen of Jurai doing in this backwater, anyway?" asked the lieutenant who happened to be the senior person on duty.

"Beats me," replied the first of the two patrolmen, "some kind of secret diplomacy, perhaps. Emperor Tenchi's Queens are known for unconventional behavior."

"That's like saying black holes are known to be unsafe to be near," piped up a desk clerk who had secured a nearby spot.

"All right, let's just hear what happened," said the lieutenant, looking warily at the cloaked and hooded figure, and the bearded man in the scarlet jacket.

"Apparently, her majesty," the patrolman waved towards the cloaked figure next to him, "had a rendezvous with someone inside Baltram's tavern. While she was there unannounced, a group of merchant crew on shore leave started singing 'Ayeka of Jurai'."

"You mean the one that goes 'It may be disloyal / to one who is royal / but raise your glasses on high --" the desk clerk put in.

"That will be enough of that." Came a growl from under the hood of the cloaked figure.

"But it's one of the classic drinking songs." Protested the desk clerk.

"It is a wretched piece of drivel." Returned the cloaked figure. "And so, I politely but firmly requested them to cease. The leader of the group said 'make me'. I accepted his invitation."

"And that's when the fight broke out, I assume." The lieutenant rubbed his eyes wearily. "Very well. What's the damage?"

"She burned my place to the ground, officer!" burst out the man in the scarlet jacket.

"Beltram's is GONE?" came a chorus of dismayed voices from around the station.

"It wasn't MY shot that exploded that keg," the figure retorted, "and isn't Ashurian rum prohibited in this district?"

The tavern owner gave a guilty start. The lieutenant noticed that several of the station personnel did likewise.

"Ashurian rum?" Beltram's voice went up an octave. "Nonsense! Where did you get that idea?"

"I know a thing or two about liquor." said the cloaked figure. "Since everyone got out in time, and since somehow none of the other participants in the altercation have been brought in, I suggest that the Royal Family pay for the tavern and the matter be closed."

"That seems like it would save a good deal of trouble to a lot of people." The lieutenant gave Beltram a meaningful look.

"Uh, yes," Beltram was looking much happier at the mention of repayment.

"So, what exactly makes 'Ayeka of Jurai' so bad?" the desk clerk inquired. The lieutenant gave him a scorching look, but the clerk's job was evidently protected by a strong union.

"That confounded line, 'With lust she inflamed / the pirate she tamed'!" The figure threw off the hood, revealing long cyan-colored hair coiffed in the complex Juraian style. She leaned towards the desk clerk, and a pair of golden eyes burned into his own. "Do I look 'tamed' to you?"

"Uh, why, no," stammered the clerk, an extra-large sweatdrop suddenly appearing.

"And how is it Ayeka becomes famous, and I'm just 'the pirate'?" Ryoko demanded of no one in particular. "WHAT IN HELL DOES A LADY HAVE TO DO TO HAVE HER NAME REMEMBERED?"

T h e E n d

Author's notes: 1) The classic "sailor fuku", worn by most middle school and high school girls in Japan, was actually introduced as a school uniform in 1921 by the principal of Fukuoka Jo Gakuin University, Elizabeth Lee. It was modeled after the uniform used by the British Royal Navy at the time. My respects to the late Ms. Lee for my slight corruption of history.

2) In the OVA episode "Here Comes Jurai", Washu promises Queen Funaho the she will not help anyone build more versions of Ryo-Ohki. But in the course of "Tenchi Muyo GXP", she provides Seina with the battleship Kamidake II, powered by Fuku, who is almost a sister version of Ryo-Ohki. Washu's "deal" with Princess Seto is my humble way of explaining the discrepancy.


End file.
